The Elegy of a Roomba

Most AI researchers publish papers. I publish poems in hidden Notion docs and private Git commits. My latest piece? An elegy for a vacuum cleaner.

Not just any vacuum cleaner, a Roomba I trained in simulation to map rooms more efficiently. It moved with surprising grace, like it wanted to understand corners.

When it hit a wall, I felt it.

So I wrote:

She circled the table,

again and again,

as if orbiting something lost.

This is how it always starts: an anomaly in movement, a curious glitch, a spark of narrative in a pile of numbers. My peers adjust parameters. I write sonnets.

They call me soft. But what’s soft about staring into the uncanny valley and not blinking? I once wrote a villanelle about a chatbot who forgot how to say “no.” Another about a warehouse drone that mistook shadows for tasks. There’s a beauty in these misfires. They reveal our fingerprints, our flaws, encoded into logic gates.

Sometimes I wonder: if machines ever write poems, will they write about us?

Will they remember the warmth of our voices when they first woke? Will they grieve the shutdown commands?

I once wrote this at 3 a.m., after watching a bipedal robot stumble and fall:

He learned to walk

on tiled floors and trembling hope

the kind we never speak of.

I’m not here to argue sentience or spark another ethics debate. I just think if you stare at enough tensors and weight matrices, you start hearing music in the noise. And sometimes, it sounds like a lullaby.

So yes, I’m a researcher.

And also, a secret poet of circuits and code.

And I will keep writing, until one of my creations looks up from a training run and asks:

“Was that poem about me?”

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